


The Recluse

by Infinity (malecfeels)



Series: By Your Side [8]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Aftercare, Aftermath, Alternate Universe - Human, BDSM, BDSM Scene, Bottom Magnus Bane, Butt Plugs, Caring Alec Lightwood, Dominant Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Full Consensual, Heavy BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Malec, Punishments, Spanking, Submissive Magnus Bane, Top Alec Lightwood, flogger, loving relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-18 00:21:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19965646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecfeels/pseuds/Infinity
Summary: “No, I need you. I need you to help me forget.”“Magnus-“"I have gone through much worse. And I have gone through them alone. But tonight…I realized that I am not alone anymore. That I have someone I can lean on…”“You can.”“That’s why I need you. I just need to stop the voices in my head. And I trust you to do that. Only you.”...Magnus leans on Alec to get through the Camille ordeal. Alec will do whatever it takes to make him whole again.





	The Recluse

**Author's Note:**

> Hellllo,   
> Sorry it took a little longer than I had planned to upload this part. My laptop went all crazy on me and because of that I haven't even being able to write ahead like I always do. So it might take longer again to get the next part up.
> 
> But worry not, this one will help tide you over for a good time. I am very happy with how it turned out. Please heed the tags and everything. Hope you guys have as much fun reading it as I felt writing it!
> 
> PS- Please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors. Also if anything is realistically wrong with the bdsm scenes. It is all based on reading, watching and a whole lotta research!

Alec had been silently noticing it since Magnus had left the restaurant and joined him. He had noticed it all through the car ride to the small walk up his house. Magnus had tried to hide it by clasping his hands tightly together and hiding it behind his back. But he had still noticed.

Magnus’ hand was trembling. Ever so slightly but continuous and insistent.

He now gazed at him slouched into himself on the couch where only the night before they had lied snuggled together. Before he had come to know about the horrid mission he was supposed to undertake. For Alec knew even then that there was no way it was going to go well for Magnus.

And he had been right.

Magnus physically looked fine. But that was it. He could feel the deep conflict and agony within him with just a glance. He could read the struggle on his face and the numbness in his eyes. And the hand that wouldn’t stop shaking.

Something had gone wrong. And Magnus had been in the middle of it. He may not bore any actual scars but Alec could see the proverbial ones all over him, bleeding endlessly.

If only Alec knew how to heal them. Because he desperately wanted to.

Since the first time he had lay eyes on him, Alec felt that uncanny feeling deep in his heart. It hurt him to see him hurt. It was as simple as that. Yet it was so much more complex. Alec shouldn’t feel this overbearing sense of protectiveness for the man in front of him. He shouldn’t feel the agony reflected in himself and the urge to wipe it all away. Yet he was.

So he would protect him. And he would heal him. Any way he could.

Magnus didn’t acknowledge his presence until he came and sat on the table in front of him. He looked up, his face blank and expressionless. Schooled to keep the hurt away from outsiders. Even him.

“Here. Drink.” Alec held out the glass of water. He worried that Magnus’ shaking hand would spill it. But he held firmly with both of his hands and downed the entire glass in one go. “Easy.” He muttered to no avail.

“Thank you.” Magnus said, voice almost a whisper. He cleared his throat and said a little loudly. “I am sorry you had to track me down like that. You needn’t have.”

Alec figured he would say that. “I had to.” He replied. “For my own sake.”

“I didn’t want to worry you.” Magnus continued. He leaned forward to keep the glass on the table beside him.

“I still would.” Alec said. He let the silence linger on. Magnus was looking somewhere on his chest but his gaze was faraway, absorbed in memories that didn’t look good at all. “Magnus?”

Magnus focused on him. “Yeah?”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Magnus’ hand trembled again. He clenched it into a fist and burrowed it in his thigh. His eyes shuttered down but the ebbing pain didn’t. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes.” Alec said. “Because something clearly went wrong. And it’s hurting you. I can’t see you like this.”

Magnus slowly clenched his eyes shut, conflicting emotions flickering on his face before he snapped them open. “You can’t tell it to anyone else…”

Alec quickly nodded. “Of course. I won’t.”

Magnus bit his lip. “I…Camille…she..” he couldn’t seem to find the words.

Alec swallowed hard. “Did she hurt you?”

Magnus chuckled then. There was nothing good about it. It was bitter and it was directed towards himself. “Camille always did find innovative ways to hurt me.”

Alec felt the familiar anger rise in him every time he heard that name and everything she had done to Magnus. “What did she _do_?”

“She killed herself.”

Alec’s mouth shut with a snap. His mind drew a sudden blank. Out of all the things he had expected, that didn’t even come near enough.

“What?” He whispered.

“I thought she was going to kill me.” Magnus murmured, a heaviness to his words. “And I expected that. But then she turned the gun on herself…”

Alec felt his chest tightened. He had his fair share of violence in his life. But this was something more horrible than he could imagine. “Why?” he asked, voice still a breathless whisper.

Magnus pressed a hand to his eyes, a soundless rough exhale coming out of him. Clearly he was recounting everything and it wasn’t doing him any good. “Jonathan did something to her…then he dumped her and left her all alone.” He murmured. “He knew she would come to me or at least I will go to her. She wanted to be with me. Truly wanted to because she was all alone and there was no else she hoped who would take her in. She was confident I would…”

“I don’t understand…after everything she did to you? Why would she ever come to you?” Alec asked, his eyes wide.

“Because she thought she knew me. Completely. And for a long time she did.” Magnus said. “Or maybe she just _hoped_ with what little she had that I would be the recluse she so desperately craved.” Magnus’ voice broke a little then. “But I wasn’t. I wasn’t the same man anymore. And I turned her away. Left her to do nothing but kill herself because she had nothing left anymore. I was her last hope.”

Alec let out a shuddering breath. Few pieces fell in place and formed a crooked picture. He was nowhere near understanding the magnitude of the situation as he didn’t know Camille or the relationship she shared with Magnus all those years ago. And she had still had a hold over him. He had seen it when he had first talked about her to him only 24 hours ago.

But he didn’t need to listen or understand more. He had heard enough. He could now see the guilt lining Magnus’ face, crushing him slowly and surely. He could see the cracks, ones that were already there from the beginning grow deeper with every passing second. He wouldn’t allow that.

“Magnus.” He breathed out the name like the prayer it was. He slowly reached out and took Magnus’ trembling hand, folding it in both of his. It was cold within his warmth. He waited until Magnus’ eyes were on him. “I am so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine how it felt or what you feel now. She was not a positive influence in your life…but she was still a big part of it and it hurts to lose it like that.”

Magnus’ eyes glittered a little in the low light. He didn’t say anything, merely absorbing his words. Alec wanted that as he continued,

“But I need you to listen to this carefully.” He said, keeping his tone soft but firm. “You cannot take the blame for her death. Camille walked a dangerous path and by her own doing she reached a point where she had nothing left. _You_ had nothing to do with that. Especially after everything she did to you…” he brought the enclosed hand close to himself. “I am proud of you to turn her away like that. You _chose_ yourself. You chose to not let her ruin your life anymore. And that takes a lot of strength, Magnus. You couldn’t have anticipated what she would do after that. Even if you had stopped her…it wouldn’t have changed anything.”

Magnus’ breath hitched a little. He let out a rough breath and his hand twitched in his cocoon. His body was strung tight with tension and despair reflected in his dark beautiful face. Even like this, he looked devastatingly beautiful. Even with all the broken pieces visible on him. “Alexander…” he breathed out. “I want to believe that. Deep down I know it’s true…but it’s so hard..”

Alec felt his heart break some more. “I know it’s hard. I know.” He murmured, squeezing his hand. “But you will. You just got to say it to yourself. And then you will.”

Magnus clenched his eyes shut tightly, shaking his head. His entire body trembled. “I can’t get it out of my head.” He bit out. “ _Everything_ …it’s just so loud. I keep seeing her… and the things she said and the blood…and-“

Alec didn’t think about it. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Magnus’ trembling form and held him tight against him. “Shh. Don’t. Don’t think about it.”

Magnus held still against him for a few moments, silent but with heaving breaths. Then he slowly curled into him, his head fitting in the familiar juncture between his neck and shoulder. Alec felt his warm breaths on his skin and he held impossibly tighter as if he could silence the screams in his head through sheer physical will.

“It’s going to be okay.” Alec murmured. “I am here now. Just let go.”

Magnus shuddered against him. He felt so thin and small in his arms. Alec couldn’t deny the rush of protective power surging through him anymore. He would do anything to keep him safe. To make him whole.

Magnus shifted and started to lean away. “Alexander.”

Alec reluctantly let him but kept his arms around him. “What is it?”

Then he took him by surprise by kissing him full on the lips. Magnus pressed his body to his and his hands went around his neck as he kissed him passionately, pouring himself into him. It took a moment before Alec realized and then he was kissing back with the same fervor. Their breaths mingled, Magnus’ being ever so shaky but he didn’t stop.

“Magnus…” Alec breathed out, moving just a little away.

Magnus immediately protested. “Don’t stop don’t.” he exhaled, hands tightening around him. It was a reminder to last night when they had been in the same situation. Except this time, Magnus was hurt more deeply than a cut on his arm.

“Babe, not now.” Alec said, caressing a hand down his neck.

“No, I _need_ you.” Magnus bit out roughly. “I need you to help me forget.”

Alec swallowed hard. “Magnus-“

“I have had hard nights before. I have gone through much worse. And I have gone through them alone.” Magnus said, voice coming through calm for the moment. “But tonight…I realized that I am not alone anymore. That I have someone I can lean on…”

“You can.” Alec whispered, a little dazed still at what he was hearing.

“That’s why I need you. I just need to stop the voices in my head.” Magnus whispered, shaky again. “And I trust you to do that. Only you.”

Alec felt the words hit him deep and hard. He felt the magnitude of them, of what Magnus was asking and entrusting. He didn’t think even Magnus realized that in the state he was in. But Alec did. And never before that he felt this out of bounds as emotions soared through him.

“Okay.” He agreed softly. He looked into his glittering teary eyes. He would do anything to see the pain gone from them. “Anything you want.”

* * *

Alec couldn’t count the number of times he had done this before. It was a part of him and came easy to him. Sure there were times in the beginning mostly where he had made some mistakes and had been less than confident. But he had learned from them and grew into a man who knew what he was doing and was damn near the best at it.

But things changed when it came to Magnus.

There was a subtle tremor that went through him the very first time he took Magnus to bed. It hadn’t been uncertainty. He knew he wanted him with every breath in his body. But it had been the desire to give the man the best experience of his life because that is what he deserved that had him on his toes.

Weeks later, here they were back in his bedroom and Alec still felt that desire deep within him with that hint of anxiety. More so now because of how especially fragile Magnus looked tonight after everything that had happened. Their relationship had reached levels in mere days and the extent of what Alec felt for him couldn’t be justified in any way. He never had to walk a thin line like this before.

But one thing was for sure though. He would do everything for him. And that desire to do so gave him all the confidence he needed.

“Magnus.” He whispered the name almost reverently. They were standing close enough that their breaths mingled. Alec looked into the hazel depths so full of struggle and guilt. Magnus trusted him to wipe that away. So that’s what he would do. “Kneel for me.” His voice was still a soft whisper but the order was firm and clear.

Magnus stood still for a second, his face sifting through different emotions before blanking out. His gaze cleared, the moisture in them making them look glassy. He took a step back and smoothly knelt on the ground in front of him.

Alec could see he had done this before in the way he assumed the perfect pose with knees spread apart a little, hands atop them and his head down towards the ground. It made Alec lose his breath in ways he hadn’t ever before.

“I want you to listen to me carefully now.” Alec said, taking a step back so he could be in Magnus’ eyesight. “I want you to only focus on me. My voice…my touch. I want you to only think of _me_. Of what I am doing to you. Or going to do to you. Do you understand that?”

“Yes.” Magnus said in a low voice. Alec tried to discern if he was in any way out of it. But Magnus seemed completely aware.

“We are going to use the traffic light system.” Alec continued. “What do you say when it gets too much and you want to stop?”

“Red.”

“Remember to use it when you need to. Clear?’

“Yes.”

Alec breathed out, looking down at him. His heart was beating fast. He was in complete control and knew what he was going to do to make it all better for Magnus. But the slight tremors were still there, the need to be extra cautious and the feeling that he might do something wrong. He couldn’t bear that. Of all the things, that was the one thing he couldn’t bear.

Because he had been on the other side of it. And he couldn’t even _think_ about Magnus going through that. Ever.

Alec clenched his teeth. This wasn’t the time to think about that or feel anxious. He moved his hand and caressed it down Magnus’ face. He gripped his chin softly and tugged it up to look at him. The moment their eyes met, he felt that connection between them give him strength. Like it always did.

“If anything starts to feel too much, you tell me.” Alec said softly. “I will make it so that you will only be able to think about me and the things I will be doing to you. Okay?”

Magnus nodded, expression open and vulnerable. “Okay.”

“Stand up.” He let go of him and took a step back. “Strip.”

Magnus quickly abided. Alec kept a close eye on him to see if his hands were shaking or any signs of him being too emotionally compromised to do this. But still there was nothing, he thought relieved.

In less than a minute, clothes were strewn and Magnus stood gloriously naked in front of him. Alec as always was taken aback by the sheer beauty of him. Magnus was not muscle built but was rather lean. But that didn’t mean he didn’t have a solid strong body with muscles bulging at all the right places. His body was dotted with random scars, nothing too big or horrid but they were there all the same. It made Alec upset but never repulsed. That was something that made Magnus who he truly was.

His gaze flickered to the white bandage around his arm, the wound from the fight he had gotten just the night before.

“Does that hurt?” Alec asked, biting his lip. This was one of the reasons he didn’t want to go through it.

“It doesn’t.” Magnus said, putting every bit of assurance he could. “I promise, it’s not painful.”

Meaning that it was still not healed and Magnus felt it. But Alec trusted his words. He knew Magnus had been through worse. So he reluctantly nodded. Magnus needed this now. More than anything.

Ignoring the urge to reach out and touch him all over, Alec gave the next order. “Go stand in front of the door. Face towards it and keep your arms above your head.”

He saw Magnus take in his orders with a hard swallow and then quickly started to move towards the door. Alec couldn’t keep his eyes away from his naked body gracefully making his way ahead. He had to shake his head away from the tantalizing sight and inwardly cursed at his body to be in control. He made his way towards the cupboard on the far side, watching from the corner of his eye as Magnus slowly assumed position. He used his key to open the bottom drawer that housed some of his toys and equipment. After a cursory glance, he picked a few that he would need according to what he had thought of to do tonight. As he carried them back to where Magnus stood, he felt the change in him. The smooth transition to the familiar headspace of being a dominant. It was invigorating and comforting.

Alec dropped the items on the table beside him as he came to stand in front of Magnus. He saw his body stiffen in alertness and anticipation. They had done this enough times for Alec to interpret Magnus’ every move. This time, Alec couldn’t resist the smooth caramel skin glistening in front of him. He quickly shed his shirt, letting it carelessly drop to the floor. He smoothed a hand down his back, feeling the muscles bunch up under him as he traced the path. Magnus quivered ever so slightly as he always did at the first few touches.

Alec removed the black cloth from his pocket and held it in front of Magnus’ face. He could feel the reaction to the blindfold under his hand and he smiled. “Is this okay?” he still asked.

Magnus nodded quickly. “Yes.”

Alec carefully placed it over his eyes and tied it behind his head. There was no give to this particular blindfold. Just what he needed to make Magnus completely susceptible to him and him only.

Next, he picked up the small ropes and moved his attention to the hands still dutifully held above his head. It was blind routine for him to use the ropes and deftly tie both the hand together and then attached them to the small hook on his door. He loved using ropes and intricate knots, it excited him to see his subs tied like that. A hundred times more when it came to Magnus. One day he was going to lay out all his rope bondage fantasies on Magnus. Not tonight though. He had to be careful with the still injured arm. On that note, he attached a small holder he used for candles under his elbow of the injured arm so as to provide him a support that didn’t end up putting all the pressure on it.

Stepping back, he pulled Magnus back with him till he was bending just a little bit with his ass sticking out. Alec sucked in a breath at the sight he made. His blood rushed down, making his pants grow tight. They had barely started and he was about to lose it.

“Magnus.” Alec licked his lips. “Color?”

“Green.” Magnus replied quickly. He seemed a little breathless as well, his face flushing with color.

“Good.” Alec murmured. He traced his hand down his back again, going lower still till he had a handful of his ass cheek gripped in his palm. He squeezed and felt Magnus react greedily to his touch. He moved, his legs shifting a little. Just like Alec knew he would.

He moved his hand away and brought it down again in a sharp slap on the cheek. Magnus jerked and grunted in surprised pain. “Don’t move.” He admonished.

Alec caressed the slight red mark that appeared on his smooth skin. His skin was warm under his hands. He traced the same path again down his back, feeling the slight sheen of sweat under them. He gripped the other cheek, moved his hand away and brought it down again in a resounding slap.

Magnus jerked again with a sharp exhale this time but didn’t move. Alec smiled, repeating the motion again on the same ass cheek. And again and again. His hand started to sting by the fourth time and he changed over to the other unmarked cheek. He kept the spanks mild, he just wanted to warm him up. But it was still enough for Magnus to let out small grunts and moans after every hit and his ass to turn blooming red at the end of it.

Alec stopped after a few more and let out a rough breath. He was pleasantly surprised to see Magnus had held his own and hadn’t moved through the small ordeal. He always felt this sense of pride whenever Magnus managed to excel and surprise him like this. He gave a quick once over to see if he was alright as he soothed the flaming skin with his soft touches. It was not a lot but more was yet to come.

Alec couldn’t help it when he bend forward and kissed the nape of his neck. Magnus shivered, his breath hitching loudly in the silence of the room. Alec started kissing the path he had been tracing before with his touch, his body flaring to his every touch. He inhaled his familiar heady fragrance and tasted his skin that was pure Magnus. He bit down sharply at the juncture below his back and was rewarded with a breathless, “Alexander..”

His name sounded like honey dripping from Magnus’ mouth. It alone was enough for him to lose his control.

Alec knelt behind him, his hands gripping both sides of his hips. And waited for a few moments, until Magnus started to shiver in anticipation. He pulled him back a step, bending him more in the process. Alec licked his lips as he came face to face to his full ass and glistening hole. God, how he desperately wanted to bury himself deep in that heat. It was crazy how much he wanted it. But more than that, he wanted to do this right so that it gave Magnus what he needed.

Alec picked up the bottle of lube from the table and squirted a healthy amount on his fingers. Slowly he started to circle the hole, picking up on every little hitch of breath and every shiver running through Magnus’ body at his ministrations. He knew the blindfold was making this twice harder and better at the same time. He gently pressed one finger inside of him, rolling and probing it deeper.

As expected, Magnus pushed back quickly to get more of it. Alec pinched his ass slightly. “I said, not moving. Or else I will stop and punish you instead. Do you want that?”

He almost heard the ‘yes’ from him. But instead, Magnus timidly whispered, “No. Sorry.”

Alec smirked and continued. He knew he could go quicker than this; Magnus was lose enough that he didn’t have to work too much on opening him up. But he had something else in mind. Something Magnus wouldn’t see coming. So, he slowly kept on pushing his finger in and out, not going in too deep but not stopping either. After a long while, when he felt Magnus getting wound up to move and push back again for more, he added a second finger and pushed all the way in.

“Ah-h.” Magnus breathed out, voice faint. His hands were clenching in and out from where they were tied securely above him. Alec spared a quick glance towards the injured one and saw that it was still fine. “Alec..”

“What do you want?” Alec asked steadily, pulling out and plunging in deep again. Almost touching his sensitive spot.

Magnus wiggled a little. “Just.. _more_. Fuck me.”

Alec tsked. “So soon? We have barely started.”

Magnus sighed deeply, hanging his head. His hair was sprawled messily over his forehead and the blindfold.

“What color are you at?” Alec asked, ceasing for a moment.

“Green.”

Alec crooked his fingers, hitting the spot and watched with a pleased smile as Magnus jerked in his bonds letting out a moan. There was nothing better for him than getting to see and hear him like this. He kept on with the slow torturous movements, opening him up till he had three fingers in. Magnus was a glistening mess above him, his rough moans the only sound breaking the silence in the room. Alec plunged in one last time, dragging his fingers against his wall and pulling out with a wet plop. If he kept on going, he knew Magnus would come.

And he was getting impatient as well.

Alec stood up, adjusting his tight pants and picked up the item from the table. It was a butt plug, one of the smaller but wider ones. It wouldn’t penetrate much but stretched quite a bit. His own body was quivering in anticipation to use it on Magnus. He couldn’t help but think again how lucky he was that he got to experience this.

He applied the lube on one end of the plug and knelt down again in the same position. He felt Magnus trying to discern what was happening but failing. Alec smirked; he would know soon enough. He spread his cheeks apart and slowly held the plug at his entrance. Enough for him to know what it was.

Magnus sucked in a breath and bit his lip hard.

“Okay?” Alec asked, pressing the plug into the ring of muscle.

Magnus jerkily nodded. “Yes.”

Satisfied, Alec started to push it inside. The tapering pointy end quickly disappeared inside. The wide part of the plug took a little effort even with all the fingering and the lube used. Magnus’ breathing sped up and his thighs bunched as he took in the plug. Alec was sure he had used these before but that wasn’t what was affecting both of them. It was the two of them and what they meant to each other and the trust that went into doing this together. It was so much more overwhelming than anything they did together.

Magnus let out a breathless moan as the plug slowly slide until it was completely in. He was standing so stiff, Alec felt it under his hands. He tugged at the plug to see of it was properly secure and then leaned forward to press a kiss on the back of his thigh.

“Relax.” He whispered into the soft skin. “Color?”

“Gr-reen.” Magnus answered, voice rough and low.

Alec continued to press soft but biting kisses all over the back of his thighs and his ass, until he felt the bunched up muscles relax a little. He sucked hard at a particular spot knowing it would set a mark that won’t easily go away. Another thing he had realized was that he loved marking him. Something he hadn’t preferred before with any of his submissives or even partners.

_That is because I want him to be mine forever…_

“Alexander.” Magnus’ desperate dripping voice interrupted his thoughts. “A-Alec.”

Alec hummed casually, his lips still sucking and kissing at his exposed caramel skin. He could do this all the time. But he could also hear the edge in Magnus’ voice. And as much as he wanted to keep touching him, he had more things planned.

“You are doing so good.” Alec praised as he got up. He kept his eyes on him as he walked back to the table. Magnus looked heavenly standing in his position, a display of his ripped back with a layer of glistening sweat over it and the now butt plug resting snuggly in the cleft of his ass. It was getting increasingly difficult for Alec to keep a calm head. “You look perfect, Magnus.”

Magnus shivered at that, his head dipping low. More than anything, he always reacted deeply to Alec’s words and his touch.

Keeping his eyes on Magnus, he picked up the item from the table. The handle felt smooth and familiar in his hands. He flicked his hand expertly, the swishing sound of the small leathery whips breaking the silence of the room. Magnus immediately stilled, turning his head a little as he tried to discern what was coming next.

The flogger was one of Alec’s favorite toy and something he could use very skillfully. This one was one of the lighter ones with fewer and shorter whips at the end. He knew Magnus could take thicker ones than this but he didn’t want to risk using it today for a multitude of reasons. But this one would more than achieve the goal. Alec had to admit that he was hesitant to use it for what he wanted to do. He knew from experience that people turned to BDSM for that balance of pain and pleasure. But more so for the pain because it offered a recluse from the other emotional turmoil in their life. He himself had gone through the exact same thing.

And now knowing what Magnus was going through…he ideally knew this would help him in the way he wanted to. If it had been any of his casual sumissives he wouldn’t have fretted so much. But this was Magnus. There was nothing casual about him or what he meant to him.

Alec gripped the handle of the flogger tightly and breathed out deeply. He wasn’t going to falter and second guess himself. He had confidence in himself and what he had been doing for a long time now. He stepped back towards Magnus and watched as he stiffened in anticipation and excitement yet again. That was the thing about him. He was always so attuned and eager despite everything.

Alec swished the flogger in the air again, getting a feel of the weight and alerting Magnus about the oncoming ordeal at the same time. From his intense expression, it didn’t look like Magnus had figured it out yet. Alec felt his lips tug up in a small smirk. He would soon.

His first hit landed directly on his right ass cheek in a resounding crack, much like the spank he had laid earlier. But with much more force and impact. Magnus yelped and jerked, his entire body shifting in surprise. A breathy moan soon followed as the sting of the whips travelled through his body.

“Color?” Alec asked.

It took a second for him to answer back. “Green..”

“Don’t move now.” He ordered. And the brought the flogger back down in a smooth arching motion.

Magnus sucked in a sharp breath, his body lifting to his toes as he absorbed the pain and the pleasure that soon followed. His head dipped lower as he unsuccessfully tried to gauge the next landing of the flogger due to his blindfold. It was three times better to be in a visually impaired state and tied up and just waiting for the next blow to land.

Alec took his time between the initial hits as he targeted both ass cheeks one at a time. The force behind them wasn’t too much, only enough for them to leave slight red imprints wherever the whips spread over the smooth skin. He kept on till they were a good shade of crimson and Magnus was panting hard by the end of it.

Alec stopped and took a breath. He was starting to feel the fatigue in his arms. It was the least of his concern compared to the horny mess he was. He almost dropped the flogger right there and started to undress so that he could hold Magnus in his arms and fuck him. _Almost._

But there was one last test he wanted to carry out with him.

“Magnus.” His voice was gravelly. “Color?”

Magnus’ shoulders were heaving as he answered breathlessly. “Green.”

Alec let him have another moment before he started up again with the flogger. But this time, with more force and less time in between. He landed the first blow on his lower back which he knew was sensitive. Predictably, Magnus let out a hiss and his body shifted inadvertently.

“Focus on the sounds and the feel of the whips laying across your body.” Alec said. He landed another one on his ass, leaving a dark red mark this time. “Absorb the pain. _Feel_ it go all through your body.”

Magnus groaned, his hands clenching and unclenching in their bonds. “Al-Alec..”

Alec laid out another one across his thighs, the resounding crack shattering the silence. Magnus yelped. “Visualize yourself right now. The way I see you…you have no idea how phenomenal you look right now.” Another one. Right across his back. “With all those marks marring your skin…”

Magnus moaned, arching his back. It just made his ass stick out more, revealing the plug still inside him. Alec increased his speed, landing two quick blows to his ass, jolting the plug this time. His own blood rushed at the reactions and noises Magnus made at his every move. His face was scrunched up in a mix of recurring pain and pleasure. His mouth was parted as he tried to gulp in air he was rapidly losing after every new blow.

Alec kept a close eye on him as he continued with the flogger. He had been going hard and fast for a time now and he could see Magnus reaching his threshold. He wanted to see his limit. Take him there and bring him back down and do the same all over again. He aimed at a particularly sore spot and landed a sharp blow, the thin straps of the flogger spreading evenly over the space.

“Ah!” Magnus yelped, his fists clenching tighter and his body shuddering.

Alec pressed his lips together. He had been sure that would have been his last straw. He huffed, feeling the strain in his arms as he brought down the flogger across his ass for what felt like the umpteenth time. His already red skin flamed higher at the point. But still Magnus did bore it with a breathless groan. A bead of sweat dropped down his forehead.

Alec narrowed his eyes. He should have expected this. He bit his lip. One more chance. He swished the flogger in the air, the voice sounding menacingly for a few seconds; enough for it to register for Magnus…before bringing it down again on his lower back which was also filled with red marks.

Magnus let out a soundless yelp, his breath caught up in his chest somewhere as the pain spread harshly through his entire body. He was almost on his tip toes, having lost in his position few hits before. He panted hard, and Alec waited for it. But it didn’t come. Magnus resumed his position, his face twisted in anticipation as he waited for the next one to rain down on him.

Alec gritted his teeth. “Magnus.” He said in a low plain tone.

It took a few moments for Magnus to register that he had stopped and called his name. “A-Alec?” he asked, voice rough.

“What did I tell you at the very beginning?” Alec continued, his voice turning hard now.

Magnus shifted uneasily, his mouth opening and closing a few times. “I- what?” he asked.

“What do you say when you are okay and want to continue?”

Magnus swallowed hard, his face clearing of the confusion. “Green.”

“What do you say when you are at a limit and want to slow down?”

Magnus bit his lip. “Yellow.”

“And when you cannot take anymore and want to stop?”

His voice was a whisper now. “Red.”

“So, what were you supposed to say now when you clearly reached your pain limit?”

Magnus sighed. “I could take it. I was fine.”

Alec exhaled roughly. “ _Magnus_.” His tone brook no argument. “What were you supposed to say?”

“Safeword ‘yellow.” He finally whispered.

Silence fell. Alec let it linger, watching as Magnus shimmered in his own actions and their consequences. It pained him to watch him like that. He knew what he was going through and why he did what he did. Alec had been there before. And that kind of headspace was not good at all. Damn if he was going to let Magnus ruin himself like that.

He let out a long breath. “Whenever you feel like you have reached your limit, you have to use your safe words to slow down or stop. This won’t work if you don’t do it right. I won’t tolerate it.”

“I am sorry, Alexander.” Magnus sounded wrecked.

Alec felt his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. He stepped up to him, chest pressing to his back and gripped his chin. He gently tugged it towards himself and pressed his lips to his. Magnus instantly responded as if he had been starving for that touch. Alec kissed him soundly, his tongue delving in in a familiar motion now.

Magnus whined when he broke it, but he didn’t move away. He whispered in small distance between them, “It hurts me to see you hurt. Don’t do that. I can’t bear it.”

Magnus shuddered. Alec knew how his gaze would have softened if the blindfold hadn’t been there. “Okay. I won’t do it again. I am sorry.” He whispered.

Alec nodded, hearing the honesty in his voice. He pressed one last kiss on his lips before stepping back. This wasn’t enough. He had to do one more thing.

“Get back in position.” He ordered softly. He gripped the flogger tightly. “You need to be punished for this.”

A tremor ran through Magnus’ body at that. He gulped. Then replied in a solid tone. “Okay.” There was no fear or hesitation.

“Ten strikes.” Alec continued. “I want you to count all of them. You miss any, I will keep adding them.”

Magnus shivered. “Okay.”

“What color are you?”

“Green.”

Alec nodded, satisfied and readied himself. He hadn’t thought about how tough it would be for him to draw a line between being a dominant and a boyfriend. He loved the connection they had throughout everything. But it had its rough spots. Like now.

The sharp crack sound of the first strike, the flinch Magnus let out and the deep red mark that appeared on his ass; Alec felt it deep within himself. He was as much in it as Magnus.

“One.” Magnus counted in a low but clear voice. His thighs flexed and relaxed as he tried hard to brace himself for the coming ones. The force was only a little stronger than what Alec had already been using. But the thought that it was a punishment made all the difference.

Alec landed the second strike with another loud crack a little away from the first one. And waited a beat for Magnus to reciprocate with a jerk and a, “Two.”

Alec distanced his mind from the scene a little because it was harder than he imagined to punish Magnus. Even though he knew it wasn’t truly hurting Magnus and that he needed this for his own good, it still wasn’t enough. He went through the next four strikes in succession, raining down with a little more force. Magnus barely managed to count out in time. But he did it every time without fail.

“S-Six.” His voice was a rough whisper now, holding on tightly to the bonds he was still held in. His legs kept shifting and sliding in a vain hope to stave off the pain of the strikes. Alec could make out something shining sliding down from the blindfold towards his chin. It almost broke his resolve there and there.

 _Only four more_. _Only four more._

Alec breathed in and brought down the flogger in a hard strike, one after the other on both of his already marked ass cheeks. Magnus came up to his tip toes, his body shuddering. The seven and eight were barely heard over his heaving breaths. Alec resisted the urge to touch and soothe him right there. He had to wait just a little more.

The second last strike landed sharply against his lower back, his most sensitive part. Magnus let out an almost sob, his fists clenching impossibly tighter. The count didn’t come for long enduring seconds. Alec internally cursed and tightened his grip as he waited and waited until,

“Ni-ne..” It was an inaudible whisper but it was there. Alec heaved a silent sigh of relief and immediately readied himself for the last one. He couldn’t get it over with faster.

The flogger arched elegantly and struck sharply across both of his ass cheeks, the whips spreading and reaching all over the skin in one move. The sound overrode the cry of pain that had been long in coming from Magnus. His body went taut and then he sagged in one second and the next. He let out loud breaths, riding the shockwaves of the pain.

“Ten.” This time his voice was clear albeit rough.

Alec dropped the flogger to the floor and moved close to him. His own chest was tight enough that he had trouble breathing. His hands shook imperceptibly as he started to work on loosening the bonds.

“It’s over. It’s over.” He whispered assuredly to a quiet Magnus. “Come on. Let’s get you down.”

In a few seconds he had the ropes out and away from the door and his wrists. He gently lowered the arms and heard Magnus whimper at the sudden rush of blood through them. Just as he knew, he was a little unsteady on his feet now that he didn’t have the bonds to support his weight. But he had Alec.

Alec pulled him close to him as he pressed and massaged his arms to get them back to normal. He gazed at the injured one, relief spreading through him as he saw that it was still the same and hadn’t been affected more.

“Magnus.” He gripped his shoulder. “I am removing the blindfold now, okay?”

Magnus nodded quickly. He had started to finally react to his proximity by moving closer and leaning heavily on him. Alec untied the knot and slowly removed the black cloth from over his eyes. Magnus pitifully squinted in the sudden brightness. It was marginally dark in the room but it was expected after all this time wearing a blindfold. He rapidly blinked, the motion sending the errant tears around his lashes down his face.

Alec gently cupped his face and wiped the moisture with his thumbs. Magnus finally focused his hazels on his own and Alec couldn’t describe the thrill and happiness it sent through him to finally get to look at him like this.

“You okay?” Alec asked softly.

“Yes.”

Alec bent down and caught his lips in a hard kiss. He pulled him impossibly closer until he could feel every inch of him pressed against him and could feel his heart pounding not unlike his own. He moved languidly against his mouth, exploring every inch as it sent his own blood rushing right down to his toes. Magnus kissed back with equal fervor, slight tremors still running through him. His hands had found their way around his waist, hold tight and fingers biting into his bare skin. He wanted to feel more of it. All of it.

They kissed till it had turn fast and desperate. Till they couldn’t breathe anymore and had to take a step back. Magnus’ eyes were glazed with deep found desire and a state that only the tendrils of pain and pleasure took. His cheeks were flushed, signaling all that they had been up to.

“Alexander.” Magnus murmured, a sense of urgency in his tone. He pressed closer to him, his arousal brushing against his own.

Alec groaned at the feel. “Magnus.”

“Touch me.” Magnus panted. His mind and hands registered that Alec was bare from the waist up and immediately started to explore. “Want to touch you. Please.”

And Alec knew he wanted nothing more. There was nothing better than this. He caressed a hand down Magnus’ face, making their gazes meet again. “Whatever you want.”

Alec pulled him back towards the bed. “On your front.” He gently nudged him.

Magnus scrambled to follow, lying face down on the bed. His backside was a flaming red; it was a sight that turned Alec on impossibly more. He quickly unbuckled his jeans and dragged down his boxers along with it. He let out a small sigh of relief as his hard cock sprang free from its confines.

He got on the bed, crawling over Magnus who was lying still waiting for his next move. He had adapted to Alec’s way in mere days of them being together and that took his breath away. He wanted to look into Magnus’ eyes again, drown in those depths. But it wouldn’t be pleasant for him to be on his back with all the whipping he had. Alec was good at improvising anyway.

He leaned down and placed a smacking kiss on his shoulder. Magnus immediately responded and arched his neck away to reveal more tender skin. Alec accepted the blatant invitation and attacked his neck with biting kisses. His hands smoothed down his sides, coming to rest on his hips. He bit particularly hard at a spot and was rewarded with a guttural moan from under him. That was definitely leaving a mark.

“Alec.” Magnus panted, thrusting back into him. “Please…”

Alec turned his head and caught his ear between his teeth. “What do you want?” he whispered hotly.

Magnus shivered. “I..I want you.”

Alec groaned. “You ruin me, Magnus.”

“As do you.”

Alec placed one last kiss under his ear and moved back down. His body was on fire and his chest was tight with all the emotions soaring through him. He traced the familiar path down his back with his tongue, dipping down and then up until he reached his hip. Magnus was shifting insistently into the bed, trying to get friction on his untouched cock.

“Uh-huh.” Alec reprimanded quietly. He gripped him by the waist and pulled him up till he was on his knees. “Keep your chest down. I don’t want to put any pressure on your arm.”

Magnus dutifully got into position with his head down and arms to either side of him. His ass stuck up and out deliciously in the air, all reddened and with the plug still nesting deep inside of him. Alec knew he felt every inch of it every time they moved. He smoothed a gentle hand over his flaming ass and winced along with Magnus at the sting it left.

“You look so beautiful like this. With all my marks on you.” Alec murmured. He bend down and kissed the said marked skin. Magnus let out a muffled moan as traced all the marks and soothed them with soft kisses and licks. Magnus was going to be reminded of this night every time he sat for the next few days.

In between, he tweaked the plug and felt Magnus jerk in surprised pleasure. “Alec..oh god.” He whispered breathlessly.

Alec felt his own cock tighten unbearably more. He was also at the end of his rope. He usually never felt this insane urge with any of his prior partners. He was always more in control of himself and especially his body. But when it came to Magnus, all bets were off. Just like now. He couldn’t tease anymore. He wanted to feel that tight heat surround him _now_.

His hand found Magnus’ rock hard cock and he traced the entire length of it in a single move.

“ _Alec_.” Magnus bit out, his entire body jerking in response to his touch. “Alexander.”

Hearing his name like that just excited him more. He slowly started to pump his fist up and down the hard cock. Magnus had an impressive length and quite frankly it was the most beautiful cock he had ever laid eyes on.

_Maybe someday he could take that in him…_

The thought was errant and hit him out of nowhere. Alec swallowed hard and shook his head. Not the time to think about that. 

He flicked the head with his thumb, smearing the precome that was beading all over.

“Oh god, Alec.” Magnus panted, his chest heaving. “I wi-will come. I..” his body was growing taut by the second, signaling his close release.

Alec pumped his cock one more time before pulling his hand away. Magnus let out a pitiful groan at that as his body was denied the sweet release. Alec soothed a hand down his ass. “Just a little more, baby. You are doing so good.”

“Fuck me please. Alec…” Magnus begged, wriggling his hip. And honestly, how could Alec ever deny him anything?

“With pleasure.” He whispered roughly. He pulled at the plug and slowly slide it a little out before pushing it back in. He did that a few more times, each slide making Magnus go crazier until he removed it completely and threw it to the ground.

Magnus’ hole clenched desperately around empty air after being filled for so long. But Alec was about to rectify that. He quickly picked up the lube and squirted a large amount on his palm. He gripped his hard cock and hissed at the pleasure it sparked. He made short work of lubing himself and even used some to stretch Magnus some more.

“What color, Magnus?” He asked one last time as he gripped his waist and got into position.

“Green _green.”_ Magnus rambled. “Just fuck me, Alec. Come-“

Alec cut him off by diving straight inside of him. He slide in easily with all the stretch of the plug and the lube used and kept on till he reached the hilt. It amazed him to no end how expertly Magnus took all of him in while at the same time being so deliciously tight that it made stars bloom in front of his eyes whenever he entered him.

Alec took a deep breath and let it out quickly so as to coach Magnus to do the same. He knew it was a little overwhelming for him to take all of him in like this. “You feel so good.” He murmured dazedly, feeling the tight heat around his cock. It was a glorious breathtaking feeling.

“Oh Alexander…” Magnus whispered almost inaudibly. “M-Move.”

Alec didn’t need to be told twice. He braced his hold around his waist and pulled back completely only to dive in full again. Magnus let out a stuttered moan and clenched around him. Alec saw stars again and he started to fuck him with rapid pace into the bed.

Alec couldn’t describe the way everything felt in these moments when he was pounding inside Magnus, holding that small yet strong body in his tight grasp knowing that he would leave marks, his cock penetrating into that tight heat over and over again and hearing those obscene sounds Magnus made with every thrust that he probably didn’t even realize he was making.

Alec had done this more times than he can count. But none of them even came close to how it felt with Magnus.

Alec gazed down at their bodies connecting so perfectly together and it made his heart stutter. He saw Magnus’ eyes screwed shut and his face scrunched in deep pleasure. His back glistened with sweat and all the marks he had left on him. _His_ marks.

Alec groaned loudly, his blood rushing wildly through him, desire running hot and fast. He could feel himself getting closer to that edge. He shifted and aimed straight for Magnus’ prostate.

“Ah.. _ah_. Alec.” Magnus bit out. His fists were tightly clenched around the bedsheets, trying in vain to brace to the rapid hard thrusts. His body shuddered at the continued waves of pleasure coursing through him. Alec knew he was getting close as well.

Alec pulled out completely after a particularly hard thrust.

“No- wha-“ Magnus started immediately before he was gripped and turned around.

Alec plopped him down on the bed on his back, finally catching his dazed gaze. “Wanna look at you as I fuck you and you come.” He whispered roughly, bending over him.

Magnus’ eyes glazed more and he willingly spread his legs to let Alec sit between them. “I want to look at you too.” He whispered back, thrusting upwards.

Alec hissed at the contact. He placed his arms under his thighs and bent his knees upwards, revealing his loose slick hole. He pressed the tip of his cock to his entrance. “Keep your eyes on me.” He ordered and then dove right in again.

Alec braced his arms around Magnus’ head as he resumed his hard thrusts. He was captivated by his dark brown eyes and the soft tendrils of green in them that no one would be able to see unless they were in this position.

_I will be the only one to see them like this_

The thought was sudden and unbidden. But honest to the word.

“Magnus…” Alec whispered, staring into those depths. _I don’t what you are doing to me._

“Alexander..” Magnus whispered back, something reflecting in those eyes. Something familiar yet unfathomable at the moment.

Alec froze this moment in his mind. He would always remember this. It was something profound. Something that would always stay with him.

Alec could feel the edge coming closer and closer with each solid thrust. He was drowning in those hazel depths and the feelings that sparked deep inside him. His body was in tandem with his, every breath the same; connecting so perfectly together like it was made for the two of them only.

“Alex-ander..” Magnus arched his neck. His breaths were getting increasingly shorter and faster. “Ah- I am going…to come.”

Alec thrust deeper and harder. He bent down and took his lips in a bruising kiss. Magnus panted into him, his arms going around his neck and pulling him impossibly closer. They kissed in their familial way of exploring each other, of not having enough of it, with every breath as one. Alec felt his blood rushing hot and fast and the pit in his stomach growing larger.

“Magnus.” He whispered, lips still on his. “ _Come_.”

He thrust in hard and Magnus let loose with a loud gasp. His release made him clench tightly around his cock and that was the last straw for him as well. Alec’s release tore out of him and for the umpteenth time he felt stars explode behind his eyelids. It was so strong; it was waves upon waves of pure ecstasy flooding through his body right down to the tip of his toes. He was pretty sure he made some of his own inhuman noises as he rode the orgasm for what felt like a long time but was mere minutes.

He opened his eyes to realize he was lying almost on top of Magnus, who on further observation was still on the high of his orgasm. His face was blissed out, all stress lines disappeared and his eyes were shut, tears marks tracing down his face. His body was still going through the tremors and the shakes of a long intense release. Alec smiled softly, his heart warming at the sight and the knowledge that he had been successful in doing what Magnus needed so badly.

He traced a gentle hand down his cheek. “Magnus..”

“Mmmm.” Magnus murmured, leaning into his hand. “Alexander..”

“Open your eyes.”

Magnus took a moment but as always followed his order. He opened his eyes and laid his gaze on him. His face spilt into a similar soft smile. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Alec chuckled. “How are you feeling?”

“What do you think?” Magnus answered back.

“Thought so.” Alec shifted and slowly pulled his softening cock out of him. Magnus winced a little at the intruding soreness. “Give me a second. I’ll clean us up.”

Magnus shook his head and pulled him down on him. “Not yet. Just stay here.”

“I need to tend to your back.” Alec pressed, trying to move away.

“After a while. Please?” Magnus made those dewy eyes that he knew Alec couldn’t resist.

“Alright.” Alec relented. “Get on your front. Let me at least check.” He continued firmly.

Magnus sighed and winced as he shifted onto his chest. Alec grimaced a little as he saw the evidence of his actions. He knew it had brought Magnus pleasure but still it wasn’t easy for him to see him hurt in any way. He carefully placed a hand on his sore ass and rubbed gently at the worst of the marks. “Is it hurting too much right now? Be honest.”

Magnus shook his head from where he had angled it towards him. “It stings. It’s not painful. I promise.” He sighed pleasantly from Alec’s soothing touches. “That feels good.”

Alec let out a breath. “Nothing’s cut through the skin. I’ll apply some ice later and an ointment tomorrow. That will make it better.”

“Or you could keep doing what you are doing right now.” Magnus said. “Or try your magic kisses. That will definitely work.”

“You insatiable man.” Alec grinned. He leaned down anyway and pressed a soft kiss on the inflamed skin. Magnus responded happily under him. “Never enough for you, is it?”

“You know the answer to that one as well.” Magnus replied with a grin back to him. He motioned up at him. “Come on. I am okay now. Really.”

“Just a second.” Alec quickly got up from the bed and picked up a glass of water from his nightstand. He always had a filled glass at his side. “Drink up. All of it.” He handed it to Magnus who sighed loudly. But took the glass and gratefully gulped down the water.

“Your turn.” He told Alec, nodding towards the jug of water. “You need to look after yourself as well. You are wiped.”

Alec felt an unbidden smile lit his face. No one had really done that for him before. “Well, you are heavy.” He commented lightly. “It’s not easy lugging you around and holding you down.”

Magnus made a affronted face. “This is all pure muscle for your information.” He motioned to his naked body. “And a little bit of caffeine and grease.” He continued in a low voice, muttering to himself. “I wouldn’t have the trouble lugging _your_ ass around. Maybe we should try that one time and you’ll see.”

Alec choked on the water he had been drinking when he heard those words. He brought the glass down as he started coughing.

“Shit. You okay?” Magnus asked quickly, holding a hand towards him.

Alec nodded, his eyes watering. “Ye-ah.” He croaked out. “Just went down the wrong pipe.”

“You sure?” Magnus asked, something flickering in his eyes as he kept his gaze on him.

Alec swallowed hard, trying to thwart the feelings building up in him. He smiled assuredly at Magnus. “Of course.” He said. He gave himself a few seconds to recover. Then,

“Come on now. You are exhausted. And looks like so am I. We’ll get some good hours of sleep.” He got into the bed beside Magnus. “Stay on your front.”

“Okay.” Magnus abided gratefully and shifted closer to him, his head resting near his shoulder. Alec felt his warm breaths as he slowly relaxed under the pull of everything that had happened that night. Alec felt as worn out as him. But his heart was full and satisfied. He felt Magnus loop an arm around him and snuggle deeper into him. This proximity and comfort he had with Magnus was unlike anything he had experienced before.

Just when he thought Magnus had drifted off to sleep, he felt his whispered voice come over, “Thank you, Alexander. For this.” There was deep honesty in it.

Alec swallowed hard at the emotion welling up in him. He turned his head to press a soft kiss into his hair. “You never have to thank me. Whatever you need…I will always be there.”

And he truly meant it. It was a dangerous promise, he knew that.

But from the way he was feeling right now and had been feeling ever since he laid eyes on Magnus…he knew deep down that he meant every word and every promise he had given Magnus.

And he would keep them for a very long time to come.

Because he was going to keep Magnus with him for a very long time.

He was going to keep him forever.

* * *

TBC

**Author's Note:**

> They are soooo head over heels in love with each other.   
> Don't worry, they will confess it to each other soon (Like after all the angst and pain and tears)
> 
> What did you think? Would love to hear your thoughts and any other suggestions on how the scene should have gone.  
> There was someone who wanted to see from Alec's Pov. Hope you like it! It was actually very refreshing writing wise to get into Alec's headspace in a scene like this!
> 
> Thank you for reading and all the support. Will try to upload the next part as soon as possible.   
> Until next time <3 <3


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